• Fighting "The Big D"!

    Depression is a sickness, one of the very worst kind. You can't see it to look at someone, it doesn't show up on X-Rays but it's there and it's real and in worst cases can be life destroying.

    Depression is crippling and painful, not just for the sufferer but the loved ones and family around the person that is depressed.

    If you feel you are depressed then please go and seek medical advice. In this country depression is a bit of a taboo subject to talk about. Going to get "professional help" in America say, is looked as an everyday occurrence, like going to the dentists or hair dressers; openly saying "my shrink is marvellous and has turned my life around."

    They openly ask and talk what medications each other are on. In this country we live in denial and would rather cut their own tongues out with a rusty knife before we say we are taking any kind of antidepressant.

    I am on medication at the moment, happy to say a small doze but been on them some time now and feel no quick end is in sight.

    The one thing you can't hide is when you are not happy inside. Depression leaks through any false sunny disposition and brings you and those around you down.

    I myself swing from, "I'm on top of the world, I can do anything." To "I am worthless, my life sucks, I want to disappear!"

    The meds just give me a more balanced equilibrium look to my life. But they aren't me. A lot of creative types are said to suffer from these wild mood swings but I can't let it destroy my life.

    I've lost friends, lovers and even my first wife who don't understand my "sickness."

    It's hard to try and tell someone, no matter how close, exactly how low or desperate you feel inside.

    Every day we ask and are asked "how are you doing today?" We all lie by saying "fine thanks." and the odd times I've tried to tell the truth by saying "depressed and sick of life" you receive no answer or the odd bit of false sympathy where they make a mental note not to bother asking you a question where they can't cope with a truthful answer.

    Lots of people can't see it and just presume that is your normal grumpy disposition, or selfish cry for help.

    Depression is a hidden monster or cancer. It's no visible outward sign. It's not like being blind or having a broken leg, where one has a cane, dark glasses or in the case of a broken leg a big plaster cast where friends and family have wrote on words of love and encouragement.

    At least with a broken leg you want to get out of bed. That horrible numb feeling. A feeling of dread and then despair stops depressed people wanting to move.

    Maybe people that suffer from depression should carry around something saying so or a plaster body cast that friends can write on it "get well soon!" Or "keep taking the tablets!"

    There are different types of depression and levels of course.

    And to compare one to another just wouldn't be right in any way what so ever.

    No one has the monopoly on depression or if they think theirs is worse and in some warped way "better or more important" than others have is almost a worse problem than depression.

    Lots of things cause depression and it is a chemical imbalance. But it can be controlled and understood.

    So, in conclusion people reading this who think they have depression and aren't doing anything about please do and seek help.

    People that do suffer and are trying to fight it keep up the good fight, you are not alone. Those that don't suffer but know they have people with depression in their life try to be supportive, help where you can but above all understand it's a sickness and together we have to all fight and can only then conquer "the big D".

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